Where To Go From Here?!?!

One month ago today, March 25, 2012, Aaron and I woke up in San Diego ready to board our cruise ship for Mexico.

We had a wonderful surprise that morning.

That’s right! That is my pregnancy test! What a shock! Somehow we naturally got pregnant. Almost exactly a year from when I received the devastating news about the fail of our IVF.

We were excited… but very hesitant. We’ve been pregnant before and it didn’t work. In December 2009 I had a miscarriage.

When we returned home I scheduled an appointment with my OBGYN. Because of my age and my history with miscarriage, I knew I would be considered high risk.

My first appointment was Monday April, 2nd (5 weeks 3 days). At that appointment we went through the typical questions and were scheduled for an ultrasound the following week.

On Wednesday April 4th (5 weeks 5 days), I started spotting and was advised to visit the emergency room. They took blood and my HCG levels had doubled from my Monday appointment (that was a good sign). We had an ultrasound and saw a tiny little yolk sac (more than we had the first pregnancy).

I had a follow-up emergency room appointment with my OBGYN on Friday April 6th (6 weeks). At this appointment we had an ultrasound and we saw the babies heartbeat. It was still too early to hear it, but we saw it and my doctor said it was a strong heartbeat for it’s gestational age.

On Tuesday April 10th (6 weeks 4 days) I had a regular schedule appointment that my doctor suggest we keep. We were nervous at this appointment because I was still lightly spotting. At this appointment we not only saw, but HEARD our babies heartbeat! We could not believe it! After speaking to our doctor she suggested we schedule again for two weeks.

Yesterday April 24th (8 weeks 4 days) we went in to our doctors office as we normally had. We first went in for our ultrasound. The first thing I saw was a large looking thing that was starting to look more like a baby. Aaron said he even noticed the little places where arms and legs were starting. What we did not notice was a heartbeat… we couldn’t see it like before… and then we noticed that there was no sound when the tech looked for a heartbeat. I looked at Aaron… I said “there’s no heartbeat”. The tech asked me to get dressed and wait in the lobby for the doctor. NO HEARTBEAT!!!!! ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME?!??!?!?!? This couldn’t be happening… not after all that we have been through… what a cruel awful joke! Fact – no heartbeat… two options… both involve getting this thing out of me.

Today, April 25th, EXACTLY ONE MONTH from the day we found out we were pregnant, I am preparing to head to the hospital for a D&C.  Just like that… DONE!

This wasn’t planned… it almost seemed like a miracle to me… but looky look… not a miracle… a heartbreak worse than I’ve ever felt… An emptiness … an anger greater than I’ve ever known! Why? A lot of people have a lot of answers for that and a couple of the most common (which I don’t want to hear ever again) are: “Well, it just isn’t the right time” and “God has a plan for you”. I completely 110% disagree with both of those statements! There is absolutely NO good that will come from making a girl and her husband so angry and so hurt and so jaded! This did NOT happen for any reason and was not controlled by anyone’s God. There is NO plan for us. It happened because it happened. Something must physically be wrong with me and that’s that.

I thought that I should tell you… I know that the our close friends and family follow this blog. This is why I chose to share with you all here. Someday I might delete this post. This site was created for our friends and family who follow our journey and hopefully some potential birth mothers will stop by and get to know us. Because of that reason, I will more than likely delete in a week or two.

Off to the hospital for a little surgery!

Jenny

 

Hot of the press!!!!

Our “Birth Mother” books will be in our hands tomorrow!

We can’t wait to get them mailed out to local adoption attorneys, crisis centers and churches!!

Here’s a little sneak peek!!!

Birth Mother Letter for Print

This is the first time I’ve attached a document so, hopefully you all can see it Let us know what you think!!! But no bad stuff… it’s already printed and will be picked up tomorrow morning – haha!!!

Enjoy!

Jenny

 

It’s March already!!!!

Hey guys! I can’t believe it’s March already!!!! I have been doing a really bad job of posting on our blog page and I apologize. With Aaron finally home we’ve been busy and are getting back in to the swing of living together. Miss Macy is about to be 7 months old and she is one spoiled puppy! It’s even worse now that she has another person to spoil her Anyway, I’ll give you a bit of an update on the happenings in our life this past month.

I’m still working part-time doing the bookkeeping for a local cake shop. I am still having fun and love the girls that work with me! It’s a good feeling driving to work knowing that I will be having a fun day! Aaron is still on the job hunt and after a month at home I think he’s ready to get out of the house (and maybe stop having to do house duties – lol).  He has a couple good leads so hopefully we’ll hear something!

A couple weeks ago my aunt and uncle came to visit us in AZ. My parents and aunt and uncle stayed at our house for two nights of their visit! I was so excited to show them our house! We even had a bit of time to go out on a girls shopping trip to find some house ideas. I am kind of a bad decorator. I mean, I see things and like them but then I don’t know how to put them all together. So I got a lot of good ideas and can’t wait to get started!

Aaron and I booked a little cruise out of San Diego to celebrate our THIRD anniversary! Can you believe it? Three years! Anyway, we’re doing a 5 night cruise and will be spending two days in port at Cabo!! I love Cabo! Aaron’s says he’s always wanted to go on a cruise, ride a horse and go scuba diving (there are others, but these are the three birds I plan to kill with one stone). I am not a huge fan of horses… or shall I say horses aren’t a big fan of me! So, he’ll be riding solo. I am also scared to death of scuba diving… I went snorkeling in Hawaii 4 years ago and I know that I felt a bit trapped just doing that so there is no way I can scuba dive. I will sit on the beach and read and let him knock two things off of his list

Right after our cruise we will see my sister-in-law, brother-in-law and nephews for a night. We’ll be attending a Godparents class in San Diego for our newest nephew Blake! So excited!

The weekend of Easter we will head back to San Diego for the Baptism and will be with all of my in-laws! All of them! Excited that we will all be together in one place and can’t wait to take a ton of pics! Father-in-law, mother-in-law, both Aaron’s brothers and their wives and our nephews!

At the end of April we have a friend’s wedding in Sedona!!! Aaron has never been to Sedona so I am excited for him to get to finally go and of course I am SUPER excited for our friends wedding!!!!

We have a lot going on in the next couple of months and I am so happy that Aaron is here to be with me!!! Last year we missed our 2nd Anniversary and every other holiday that year! This year we will appreciate holidays and our family traditions way more than ever!

On the adoption front. We are finally getting our books to the printer this week and hopefully we’ll get them all mailed out by next week. We were advised to mail them to adoption attorneys in the state, churches and crisis centers. Of course I am really hoping that 2012 is our year and that we can finally become three (plus a pup).

If you’re stopping by to learn more about our family and our life, thank you!

Remember friends and family – WORD OF MOUTH IS THE BEST WAY TO FIND A BIRTH MOTHER!!! Help us out Thanks for all of your support!!!!

Jenny

 

2011

Happy New Year!

2011 has been an eventful year!

We started out the year in Yuma with Aaron training for his deployment to Afghanistan. We had family pictures done prior to him leaving.

 

Soon after Aaron left for Afghanistan I had our first visitors in our apartment – my Auntie and Uncle Wayne and my mom had back surgery.

I was able to make a visit to Jacksonville, NC to spend time with our NC friends the end of February.

In March, I went  through the IVF process. That was a tough month and luckily my mom with me every step of the way.  This process left us with heartache and no information.

In the beginning of April we put an offer in on our house and about mid-April I headed to California for my sister-in-laws baby shower and to spend time with her prior to the birth of her second son. I was blessed to be in the delivery room when Blake was born on May the 5th.

At the end of May I was hired on at my current position and I still enjoy my job as much as I did when I started.

I went to PA to visit my mother-in-law for the 4th of July weekend and shortly after we closed on our first home.

The 30 days following the close of our house was hectic and busy… moving, unpacking, shopping etc. I had to get everything in order because mid- August brought a wonderful two week visit from my sweet Aaron. It was so good to have him home and for him to see our new house for the first time. While Aaron was home we got the chance to visit with family and friends at his welcome home party. Aaron’s brother and my nephew Jacob came to visit and they got to see our house too. We celebrated Jacob’s 4th birthday and had a great time. Aaron and I were also able to see our puppy for the first time… she was only 3 days old.

In September my mom and I flew to Seattle for my cousins wedding and to celebrate my moms 60th birthday with a girls trip. We had so much fun.

In October Aaron’s younger brother, his wife and my mother-in-law came to visit me in Arizona. During the visit we all drove to California to visit Aaron’s older brother, his wife and our two nephews. We all had a really nice time together. All we were missing was Aaron’s dad and Aaron. During this visit my mother-in-law put in an offer on a house within two miles of our new house. After our visitors left, I was able to bring Macy (our puppy) home from the breeder. 8 weeks old and a handful but so cute. We had an instant bond.

In November we had our home study to become certified to adopt by the state of AZ. At Thanksgiving my sister and nephew from Texas came to visit. We did our annual Black Friday shopping trip and had a great visit.

In December we received our certification to adopt. The day I got the court order in the mail I was so very excited! Big things to come!!! My mother-in-law made the move to Arizona and closed on her house the beginning of December. Aaron’s brothers and my sister-in-law and nephews came to visit to help her get all unpacked in her new home. Christmas this year was pretty quiet and different from past years. We celebrated with dinner on Christmas day with my step-dad, mom and mother-in-law. Just after Christmas we got our new car and I love it!

2011 was one heck of a year… such a roller coaster, but we survived! Aaron is due home in 33 days and the day he arrives will be a great start to 2012! I can’t wait to have him home with us and can’t wait for him to meet our little Macy.

Here is a little slide show of some pics from our year. They aren’t in order, but here it is. Thank you to all of our friends and family who have helped and supported us throughout 2011! Aaron and I are truly blessed and look forward to 2012 and hopefully bringing a baby in to our life. After all, we are meant to be three (plus a dog)!!!!!

Thank all!!!!!

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Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas from Aaron, Jenny & Macy!

We are really missing Aaron this time of year! Aaron is scheduled to leave Afghanistan around February 3rd. We can not wait to have him home with us! He will be home for good and will not be leaving us ever again – says ME!

I (Jenny) am officially on Christmas break and don’t have to be back to work until Tuesday! Woohoo! Macy won’t start back to doggy daycare until Wednesday. She is going to miss her friends and miss running off all of her energy. This past Wednesday night we had our puppy training class and Macy brought all of her friends puppy gifts. She got one from herself (or me) too!

GOOD NEWS!!!! A friend at work (Nate) is a graphic designer and he has kindly offered to help us make improvements to our “birth mother” book (I kind of want to call our book something else… any suggestions? I read online that a woman is not considered a birth mother until the adoption of her baby is finalized. I don’t want to be offensive.  Anyway, Nate is helping us pretty up our “book” with his amazing skills and I can’t wait to see what he comes up with! We got a quote from a printing company and we will hopefully have our books to the printer by the 1st of the year and in to the mail shortly after! (Nate, I’ll email you pics soon).

This year our Christmas will be very different. Last year Aaron and I were in Yuma for training but got to come back to the valley to celebrate at my moms with Molly, Nelson, Mom and Warren. The year before Aaron and I had a tough Christmas. We were slightly struggling and experienced a sad loss right before the holiday but we were able to have a Christmas feast with our Jacksonville, NC friends. We had so much food it was ridiculous. This year Aaron is obviously not with us, Molly and Nelson moved to Texas and my mom has to work. The life of a flight attendant. You would think after 12-13 years of working she would be able to hold a line that would get her Christmas off, but not this year. Luckily she will get home Christmas day at 11:00AM but she has to be back to work early the next morning. Tiny Dancer (my step-dad) and my MIL will be here with me and Macy on Christmas Eve and then we’ll have our big Christmas dinner on Christmas day. A fun memory from last Christmas is this… Nelson (5 at the time) was having his doubts about Santa. We tracked Santa online until he went to bed. I told Nelson that Santa’s reindeer would open the front door since grammy doesn’t have a fireplace. I went in to my moms empty flower planters and made a bit of mud and rubbed it on the door and in the morning Nelson ran to the door to see if he could tell that the reindeer opened the door for Santa and sure enough!!! So cute!!!!

Anyway, we hope that you all have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Check out our website!!!!

My wonderful sister-in-law Fiona offered to make a website for us. I didn’t realize how wonderful it would be until I saw it! She did a great job! Thank you Fiona!

Anyway, check it out everyone!!!!

http://aaronandjenny.weebly.com/

Wow!

Operation spread the word is working!!! We had 40 visits to the last post already!!!! Keep spreading the word friends and family!!! We’ve had four friends post a link to the post and out of that word was spread and someone who knows a person who posted our link has a friend… etc. Anyway, whether this girl has adoptive parents yet or not, it gives me faith that word of mouth really does work!!!! Keep it going people!!! We appreciate your support times a million!

To Birth mother: If you are reading our blog site, we want to thank you! Even if we aren’t the adoptive parents you have chosen, it means a lot to us that you are doing what you are doing! You are amazing and are giving the best gift!!! Thank you!

As promised in the last post, I will be posting pics. A lot of you are friends with us on facebook and have seen these pics, but we are hoping that this blog will give birth mothers a glimpse in to our every day life

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